Turning The Quorner

"They fuck you at the drive-thru, okay? They fuck you at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked!".

Like a Birmingham version of Stella Street, Joe Pesci has clearly been to that godawful McDonalds drive-thru in Longbridge.
I went there the other day with my buddy Rob and his girlfriend Emma as we were all in need of an emergency Sunday afternoon hangover cure (and we were driving, hence the cure wasn't to be found in the nearest boozer).

They both recanted how this branch of McDonalds always get the orders wrong. Always. Nah, you're exaggurating, I said.

You can see where this is headed.

Things took a turn for the worse when the squawkbox operator (the same one, presumably, that randomly decides what meal they'll allocate you) tells me that they don't do the Veggie Deluxe anymore. They do...Quorn burgers.

Don't get me wrong- I never liked the McShit veggie burger. It was lardy and somehow tasteless, yet vile, at the same time. It must take a lot of R&D to come up with something like that. But the reason I ate them was that they were warm (sometimes) and convenient. They were never cheap, though. I guess that's the "Deluxe" bit. And they never used to serve them before 10:30 am. So what the hell else was I suposed to eat?

Anyway, it's reasonable to assume that vegetarians aren't McShit's number-one target market. Fine. But to withdraw the veggie burger and replace it with an Astra-Zeneca synthetic burger? A burger for people that hate eating meat, but that has exactly the same taste & texture as processed chicken?

So after this affront to decency, we eventually get served after having to go and park for ten minutes whilst the meals we didn't order are being prepared. Fast food, my arse.
And then we have to actually go inside the "restaurant" to get them to give us the food we did order, and the correct change.

I'm going to complain to the big boss man. He's clearly a clown...